Concept Chapter 5 - The Convenience Theory

The Convenience Theory
[Normandy SR-2, Outer Atmosphere of Earth above South Africa, 8:44am 22nd December 2013]

"The Hand Canon worked? What-?" Konata instinctively looked around, "Wait, is EDI listening in?"

"No, I asked for some privacy, don't worry," waved away Haruhi, "But yeah," she nodded slowly, "I went home."

Konata would have been excited had it not have been for Haruhi's solemn expression, "Wh- How was it?"

"Different, in a nutshell. What I had left in this world was missing from mine. Our houses, our schools, our roads. And they were starting to rebuild."

"Have you told this to the rest of The SOS Brigade?" asked Kagami, leaning forward since Konata was in her view of Haruhi.

"Not yet, I decided to wait until after our meeting with Gensokyo and Yamaha. I need to put my thoughts together. Please don't tell anyone about it, okay? It could create a panic."

"Understood," saluted Konata, "Though to be fair, you propably shouldn't have told us, you know, just in case."

Haruhi waved away another of Konata's suggestions, "It'll be fine. But I guess we should talk about something else..." She also leaned forward to look past Konata, "Kagami." Kagami gazed downwards, away from Haruhi, unnerved. She had a pretty good idea of what Haruhi was going to ask. "Do you regret helping me on Doomsday?"

Kagami put her head in her hands and took a moment to think. "I have some regrets," she finally stated, "With hindsight, I should have waited a little longer before telling you about your powers or at least not have revealed it so quickly so you could get used to it more efficiently," Kagami sat up straight and looked Haruhi, "But do I regret helping you? No, I don't. Who else could keep tabs on the strongest and overpowered newcomers?"

"Wow! You're so cool, Kagamin!" admired Konata, nudging her side with a friendly elbow, too close for Kagami's comfort.

"Yeah, yeah," Kagami mumbled, pushing Konata's head away.

"Actually, strictly speaking, Haruhi," began Konata, suddenly adopting a serious face, "You're not a true goddess are you? The powers are split between you and Sasaki, aren't they?"

"Strictly speaking, yes," answered Haruhi, "Some people haven't yet realised Yuki once overwrote me and my powers without my consent. The balance of power isn't as lopsided as people think. Of course, being aware of my powers, puts me in a better position to resist if she ever tried it again. But, yes, I have my weaknesses."

"Like The Convenience Theory?"

"I guess. I have godlike powers but I'm not a god, per se. I can bend, skew negate or even reverse the laws of physics but I can't create my own laws. This is where The Convenience Theory comes in," Haruhi cleared her throat, "The Convenience Theory says that newcomers have the exact same abilities as they had in their own world before they were affected by Doomsday."

"I've always had the feeling that's just another way of saying that Doomsday happened," commented Konata, "Surely no one expected newcomers to suddenly lose their powers on Doomsday."

"No one expected Doomsday," pointed out Kagami under her breath.

"It's just shorthand for what powers override what other powers," noted Haruhi, "Using The Subtle Knife for example," Haruhi summoned a gold coloured knife, an angel design decorating the handle. It was only a replica of the Knife, the original still in pieces. "By The Convenience Theory, The Subtle Knife can cut through anything, except for one thing."

"Adamantium," Konata blurted out.

"Love," Kagami answered at the same time. Konata grinned seductively at Kagami, who responded with a slap to the shorter girl's face, "I actually read books, you slouch," Kagami growled.

"We'll come back to Adamantium," continued Haruhi, "But Kagami is right. Bar that one exception, The Knife can cut through everything else. That is how it is defined. Stone, metal or even air, it's fair game, though we'll talk about the air thing again later. Now, ignoring its powers, physically, the Knife is really just a very, very sharp blade. Physically, it can cut through stone and metal, with a little difficulty. But physically, it can't cut through air. Air made of floating molecules with huge gaps between them. It is physically impossible to cut through air with a normal knife, like you can cut through butter with one. But The Subtle Knife can. I cannot self-replicate The Knife's disregard for the laws of physics."

"So, I imagine The Death Note is similar in concept?" asked Kagami.

"Yep. The Death Note kills its target under the conditions stated no matter what. Though I'd matter it doesn't work outside the universe or multiverse. That'd be pretty depressing. But nothing can block it, apparently, not even The Hakurei Barrier." "And time travel? Like the DeLorean?" brought up Konata.

"Indeed. Across fiction, there are many types of time travels and Doomsday kept them all intact. The DeLorean is just asking for paradoxes, TPDDs are for fixing the future instead of the past, Timesplitters will create time loops with objects that were never physically created while Time-Turners will attempt to kill you to fix the time stream."

"Sounds cosy," groaned a disturbed Konata.

"It's not a simple subject matter," admitted Haruhi, "But I cannot emulate these objects' powers. Except for TPDDs as that was the form of time travel in my world. The rest were mathematical black boxes that should not be able to do what they do. Hence, I couldn't smash through The Hakurei Barrier or kill someone else in another kingdom. But there was one thing I could do."

"Copy-paste?" suggested Konata. Her involvement in both The Hand Canon and Super Driver projects gave her an advantage over Kagami in this guessing game.

"Correct. Courtesy of the Humanoid Interfaces from my world, I am capable of using their powers, including the ability to copy-paste reality. If I can get access, I can copy the item or ability, whether I understand it or not. This was the idea behind The Super Driver project, to project the information of those who follow The Convenience Theory so I can duplicate it, as with the HMS Thunder Child or, more specifically, The Subtle Knife tip. Though now with the Barriers down, there's not much use for The Super Driver now."

"Are you going to be analysing everyone's abilities then?" inquired Kagami, with concern, shifting nervously on the spot, "Like controlling The Hakurei Barrier, keeping a Death Note to yourself or copying The DeLorean's method of time travel?"

"Well, I've already learnt how to use The Hakurei Barrier," admitted Haruhi, stretching her neck, "And if I had a Death Note of my own, that's definitely something I'm going to keep quiet about. But, yes, I'm going to be copying a few abilities that I'd like," she tilted her head back, glancing at the ceiling in thought before looking back at Kagami, "Any powers you want?"

Kagami panicked under pressure from the sudden question, waving her hands wildly, "Ah! No! I- I don't need any powers."

"But don't you want superpower, Kagamin?" asked a disappointed Konata, "Like to be able to instantly know what a person think about you or change your body shape or be able to eat all the sweets you want without getting fat?"

Kagami was unamused, "Aren't those powers you want?" she thinned her eyes, "Or are you suggesting something about me?"

"Well, I can already do those due to my powers," commented Haruhi, "They're all physically possible. But they do fall directly under The Theory for other people, the Jedi, The Eternal Darkness and Reimu, respectively."

"But they're still cool powers though, right?" insisted Konata, her eyes sparkling.

"I guess," smiled Haruhi weakly, "I used to dream about having powers."

"What's wrong, Haruhi?" pouted Konata with a moan, "The old you would be head over heels over such paranormal or sci-fi stuff like this. What happened?"

"Doomsday happened," answered Haruhi almost instantly. She lifted her right hand as a cylindrical container flew from one of the bar shelves behind her. She caught the white object and threw it towards Kagami who caught it, glancing at the item and then back at Haruhi in confusion. "Apple squash," Haruhi stated.

"Oh, thanks," replied a grateful and thirsty Kagami. She examined the container before instinctively twisting the top like a bottle. "Once I realised by powers, my interests changed," began Haruhi, "Powers are a lot less exciting once you actually have them. I'm still interested in things like time travel, fortune telling, basically things I am not capable of doing, or at least not properly," Haruhi crossed her legs and took another moment to think, "Surely you've fantasized about being an anime character. How is it?"

"Bleagh," complained a disgusted Konata, "I love my fans but a lot of people don't appreciate who I am. And there are those appreciate me a little too much..." Konata burrowed her face into hers hands in shame.

There was a period of silence. "Rule 34, huh," noted Haruhi, scratching her forehead in awkwardness.

"Hey," interjected Kagami, quite alarmed, and turning a little red, "We're not seriously talking about Rule 34, are we?"

"Well, just be glad Rule 34 is a real world concept, otherwise Doomsday would have brought in a fictional version that followed The Convenience Theory and actually be true," Haruhi shuddered, "But Rule 34 does have an interesting implication." It was obvious Konata was listening attentively, though she still had her head in her hands. "While Rule 34 is not strictly true it can be generalised into another rule, say Rule 34b, where everyone has an alternate canon."

"Wh-What?" stuttered Kagami, becoming more crimson, "You're saying that there are ecchi versions of our worlds?"

"Kagamin," Konata began, sitting up straight, speaking in a matter-of-fact fashion, "Rule 34 is not just ecchi, it's full on p-" Kagami forced her hand over Konata's mouth.

"Just don't talk. Please."

Haruhi was clearly enjoying the tussle, "Anyway, what Rule 34b is saying is if this thing-" she summoned a heavy pistol and placed it on Konata's lap, "-is used on you, then there is almost certainly another canon version of us that will replace us."

Konata picked up the gun, "The Hand Canon?"

"The Hand Canon," nodded Haruhi, gazed for a moment at the weapon with its horizontal blue band, "It replaces its target with a different canonical version of it, as Konata saw with Haruki and myself."

"Did you make it like that?" inquired a perplexed Kagami.

"No," laughed Haruhi, "As you know, I wanted something that could send you permanently to your world without forcing someone else to take your place. But as you also know, it doesn't quite work. It brings along the other version but also stops working once one of them gets particularly scared and that will then reset the effect, sending them home and bringing you back."

"Why doesn't it work correctly?"

"Because of The Convenience Theory." Both Kagami and Konata blinked, waiting for an explanation. "Like I said earlier, I need to copy-paste to take an object or person's ability that's covered by The Convenience Theory. In this case: Naluri Sihara."

"Because of her canon-swapping ability?" added Konata.

"Yep, Naluri has the ability to slip between canons, though it's not something she can control. That's exactly what I wanted. Except it didn't work for Naluri, so of course it wouldn't work for The Hand Canon with a single copy-paste."

"What exactly is Naluri's power?" asked Kagami, twisting the top of the cylinder shut.

"Back in her own universe, she is periodically sent to another world where she stays around for a bit until she is returned back to her true world," Haruhi clasped her hands, "Now, that's what she thinks happens. According to the people who know her, it plays out a little differently. She never disappears from her world when Naluri switches, as far as they can tell nothing happened but Naluri has proof of her excursions stored in her hammerspace so they can't deny she's telling the truth."

"So this is like..." Konata thought for a moment before continuing, "Like a character that falls asleep, has a mystical adventure somewhere in their dream and suddenly wakes up in the morning or when someone shakes them awake. But amazingly, they bring back a physical object from their dream?"

"Essentially," nodded Haruhi, "But without the sleep. Well, sometimes. For Naluri, it can happen whatever's she doing but yes it's apparently more likely to happen when she's in a daze."

"Isn't that fairly common?" commented Kagami, "Daydreaming Davey has that ability."

"Wow, Kagamin," spoke Konata, with some sarcasm, "Out of all the examples you could have chosen, you go for a kid from an old-school Nintendo game? The Angry Video Game Nerd even did a review of it." Kagami glared at Konata but did not grace her with a worded reply.

"It is common," clarified Haruhi, putting her elbows on her knees and leaning forward, "But Naluri's situation is a little different. For Davey, and most other such dreamwalkers, they are the same canon no matter what world they go to. Their worlds are all part of the same multiverse in one single canon. Naluri, however, can access information from other multiverses, changing canon whenever she's about to switch world. Her canon change kicks her out of the world she is in into the proper multiverse her canon corresponds to. It is until her canon switches back to her normal canon and then she is brought back to her normal world."

"So she consists of multiple version of herself?" guessed Konata with a shrug.

"Not quite, but her experiences are very much written by her fans, similar to Miku. However, the difference between the canons of Miku and Naluri is that for Miku they are all obviously different representations of the same person. The Love is War Miku is not the same 'character' as the World is Mine Miku. All the different canons of Naluri assume it's the same Naluri, just in a different world. This is why she changes canons and is yet the same person. Couple this with the world kicking her out to the world she's meant to be in when she changes canon. That's the very ability we're looking for."

Kagami looked down at the cylinder with another look of concern, "But there's a catch?"

Haruhi nodded again, "The Inconvenience Theory."

Konata tutted, shaking her head, "The constant thorn in our side... It's the only reason we're still in this world. It says that any ability to leave this universe is negated, even those that would have been covered by The Convenience Theory."

"Right," supported Haruhi, rubbing her hands with discomfort, "If we come back to The Subtle Knife. When it cuts through air, it's meant to be able to cut the barriers between worlds but it cannot now. All it would do is create a tiny, short-lived and useless vacuum."

"Why does The Inconvenience Theory get priority over The Convenience Theory?" complained Konata, holding her arms with a huff, "It's a massive coincidence."

"Like Doomsday wasn't," muttered Kagami.

"I have a suspicion about The Inconvenience Theory. I believe it's not so much that Inconvenience overrides Convenience but the limitations of Convenience across multiverses," Haruhi stood up and stretched her back for comfort, "Let's think about it, has any fictional world ever made contact with the real world?"

"Well," noted Kagami, "Some newcomers are Fourth-Wallers. They knew some part of the real world even before Doomsday."

"Fourth-Wallers are categorized as well," added Konata, counting them on her finger, "In relative order, you have Well-Wallers, which know about the existence of